The Fog

After my recent burst of sunshine, I was shocked by how little time it took for the depressive fog to settle right back down. It's humbling. Whenever I dare to believe that I'm learning to live with or through it (if not "get over" it), there I am stumbling around, lost again.

Why now? No special reason, really. Winter is coming, with its darkness, cold, and relentless (family-focused) Christmas cheer. I just wrote another huge check to the RE. Right after that, the baseline ultrasound picked up a minor problem that meant I'd have to sit out this past cycle.

Of course, none of this stuff is tragic (well, maybe the check...) or new, so you might think that I'd be better at coping with it by now. After all, it's been five years since I started TTC. Then again ... it's been five years.

It just wears me down sometimes.

(source)