Memorials (Part 1)

The Lumineers' song "Ho Hey" ("I belong with you; you belong with me; you're my sweetheart") was special to me while I was pregnant. Lately, I haven't heard it much—maybe once in two weeks. The break from it was a relief. Then on Sunday, in just a few hours of flipping through radio stations, I heard that song five times.

I had been planning to order a little print with the lyrics to put in the baby's room. On Monday, after some internal debate, I went ahead and ordered it anyway. It belongs in my memory box along with the ultrasound pictures, the journal I kept for the baby, and the magazine I couldn't resist stealing from my RE's office in December because the cover headline said "2012: A Year of Incredible Miracles!"

Gathering these things helps me to focus on the baby instead of on my own general hopelessness. It's actually a comfort. It’s one of the few actions I can take that still feels motherly.